All I Want For Christmas Read online

  Ryan had been no help, his mind focused on finishing the afternoon’s conversation with Tina. There were other things on his mind, too; things that had nothing to do with talking.

  Like it or not—and he did not—he was intensely attracted to Tina Morrell. He sensed that she felt something for him, too, which made his feelings that much more dangerous. But tonight wasn’t about him and his inconvenient sexual desire. He was here for two reasons—because Maggie had begged and because he needed Tina’s help and advice. Period.

  He shook the placemats over the garbage can. Aside from that, he was extremely worried about G. G. “G. G. seems worse than she did a few days ago,” he said under his breath.

  “I think so, too.”

  Tina loaded the cutlery into the dishwasher, then cast an anxious glance over her shoulder, probably checking to make sure Maggie wasn’t eavesdropping. But she and G. G. were in the living room, Maggie reading aloud from one of the I Can Read! books G. G. had saved from her teaching days.

  “The pain isn’t going away, but she won’t let me contact her surgeon,” Tina murmured, her eyes dark and filled with shadows. “Or Dr. Dove, who’s treated her for years. He’s the one who recommended her surgery. Maybe I’ll call him, anyway.”

  “Can’t hurt.”

  Ryan scooped leftover casserole into a plastic container. He wished he could ease Tina’s anxieties, but he’d never been good at comforting others. As he handed her the casserole dish, his gaze dropped to her lips.

  For a moment he forgot what they were talking about. The urge to kiss her was just as powerful as it had been this afternoon. Too damn bad. He wiped his hands on his jeans and stepped back.

  “Do you think I should call tonight?” Tina asked.

  “Uh, sure.” Here they were, talking about G. G.’ s pain and he was wondering whether Tina tasted as sweet as she looked. Really nice, Chase. Best leave now, and talk about Maggie later. But instead he said, “Want me to stick around while you call?”

  “Would you?”

  Her eyes lit up with gratitude, making him feel like a total dog for wanting her at a time like this. “I’ll wash that dish,” he said. “You make the call.”

  “Thanks. After I talk to the doctor, we’ll finish our conversation about Maggie.”

  While he scrubbed off the baked-on food, Tina dried her hands. She stole quietly to the door between the kitchen and dining room and peered out, checking on G. G. and Maggie. Maggie’s voice floated toward them. Still reading, then. By the time Tina closed the door, the dish was clean.

  Phone in hand, she gestured Ryan to sit down at the table, then she joined him. She’d reached an answering exchange, which connected her to the doctor. Ryan meant to concentrate on her words, but several times his attention strayed to her mouth. He tried not to kick her foot with his, but his legs were long and this was a small table. More than once their knees brushed. They were both wearing jeans and the contact never lasted more than a fraction of a second, yet the whole experience was erotic as hell. Damned if a certain part of him didn’t wake right up. As if he were some hormone-crazed kid.

  What was his problem?

  Frowning, he scooted back, putting some distance between their legs. Tina shot him a surprised look before returning her attention to the phone. Proving that the under-the-table attraction thing was his problem alone. Man, he really needed to get laid.

  “Thanks, I’ll do that,” she said, hanging up. “Dr. Dove says some pain is normal, but G. G. might be trying to do too much. To be on the safe side, we scheduled an appointment for Monday morning. If she spikes a fever, though, I’m to call him back right away.”

  “You want to take her temperature now?”

  Tina shook her head. “I don’t think she’ll let me—especially while you’re here.”

  “Then we’ll leave.” He started to stand.

  “We should talk about Maggie first, while we can. She’s bound to get tired of reading soon.”

  Good point. Ryan sat down again.

  “By the way, she invited me over on Monday, to meet her hamster.”

  Tina in his house? Ryan wasn’t sure about that, but Maggie had already invited her. “We’re busy all day,” he said. “She goes to bed at eight. Could you come between dinner and then?”

  Tina nodded. “I won’t stay long.”

  Time to get to the point. Ryan spoke his thoughts. “What you said this afternoon…It shook me. I’m responsible for Maggie’s happiness, and not the other way around. At least that’s how it’s supposed to be. I wish I knew how she twisted that.”

  “You’d be surprised at how often kids take on responsibility for things that have nothing to do with them,” Tina said, her huge blue eyes fixed on him. “I certainly did. Especially where my daddy was concerned.”

  Every time Tina shared what had happened to her as a kid and how she’d felt, Ryan counted himself lucky. She’d been where Maggie was, and her insights were invaluable.

  Arms on the table, he eyed her. “Did you ever tell your father?”

  “I never said a word to anyone. Like Maggie, I simply assumed his happiness was up to me.”

  In his mind Ryan pictured Tina as a kid, with all that responsibility. A burden no child should be saddled with. For sure, not Maggie. Hadn’t she been through enough?

  He’d screwed up again. At the painful realization, he groaned in frustration. “What a mess. How do I fix it?”

  “It’s not so difficult. Be happy, and Maggie will be, too. Once she sees that you’re okay, she’ll stop worrying about you and start enjoying her own life.”

  “I am happy,” Ryan said, sounding gruff and defensive to his own ears.

  “Maybe so,” Tina said, but she looked doubtful. “Apparently, though, you haven’t convinced Maggie.”

  Mad at himself, he swore. Tina reached across the table, started to draw back, and then changed her mind. As she had this afternoon, she touched his forearm, her gentle squeeze reassuring. Unlike this afternoon, however, this time he welcomed the contact. And when she drew back, he missed the warmth.

  “How do I do that? I’m not a man who laughs much. I never have been.”

  “Happiness is more than laughter, Ryan. It’s waking up with energy and enthusiasm, enjoying time with friends and loving what you do in life. I learned that from living with G. G.”

  “Yeah?” He eyed Tina. “From what I see, you’re not happy, either.”

  She bristled. “I am so!”

  He didn’t believe her, and he wanted to find out what had put the shadows in her eyes. More than concern over G. G.’ s health, he guessed. But her problems were none of his business. Besides, this conversation was about Maggie.

  “What else?” he asked.

  She settled again in her seat. “Don’t smother Maggie. Let her enjoy some activities without you, like playing with her friends.”

  That stung. “As if I wouldn’t. And I don’t smother her.”

  Though he did spend all his free time with her. That wasn’t smothering, was it? Feeling like an inadequate father and unable to sit still, Ryan stood and began to pace the kitchen, which was too small for the long, rapid strides he was inclined to take. But he wasn’t about to open the door for more space, because that might draw Maggie’s and G. G.’ s attention.

  “She’s too worried about you to make plans with her friends. If you had some of your own, that would help.”

  “I do.” He kept in touch with several buddies in L. A.

  Tina scooted her chair closer to the table so that he could bypass her. He brushed past, catching the smell of coconut—a breath of summer in late fall.

  “Here on the island?”

  “One or two.” Though at the moment he was hard-pressed to name them. Busy with Maggie, he hadn’t made an effort beyond the neighbors. He reached the stove, pivoted and headed toward the back door.

  “Do you ever invite them over or hang out with them? Or maybe go out on a date?”

  Was she fishing, t
o find out if there was a woman in his life? He stopped pacing and leaned a shoulder against the back wall. “After what Maggie’s been through, I don’t date. My spare time belongs to her.”

  “Aha.”

  Ryan ran his hands through his hair. “I moved here so that we could spend more time together. You’re telling me that’s wrong?”

  “Not at all. She’s truly lucky to have your undivided attention. Just, maybe you could find a hobby? A way to spend some of your free time apart from her, in an adult activity you enjoy, so she doesn’t continually feel obligated to entertain you?”

  Between work and taking care of his daughter, there wasn’t time for hobbies. Ryan didn’t say so, figuring this was more proof that he was smothering his kid. Well, hell. He crossed his arms.

  “I play golf, but not in this weather.” And not since moving here. “In the summer, I like to hike and fish. With Maggie.” He glared at Tina, who suddenly irritated him no end. “Are you saying I shouldn’t take her with me?”

  Her back stiffened and her eyes flashed—he’d irritated her, too. “Of course not. We’re trying to think of something you can do with adult friends, something that doesn’t involve her.”

  With her head high and her lips compressed, she was more beautiful than ever. Ryan pushed away from the wall. “There is one adult activity I like a lot that has nothing to do with Maggie.”

  Hardly aware of what he was doing, he started toward Tina.

  “What’s that?” Her eyes were wide and wary.

  “This.”

  Taking hold of her upper arms, he pulled her to her feet. And kissed her.

  RYAN WAS kissing her! Caught completely off guard, Tina stood still and let him. Her head barely reached his shoulder, but his mouth was hard on her lips and his hands gripped her shoulders. His bright, angry eyes bored into hers.

  Provoked and without an ounce of tenderness or passion—this was no way to be kissed. Tina placed her palms against his chest to push him away. He must’ve misinterpreted, though, for he growled, the sound vibrating through her. Then his arms wrapped tighter around her, his eyes closed and he gentled the kiss.

  Warmth filled her. Her own eyelids drifted shut. Instead of breaking contact, she slid her hands up his solid chest, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled closer.

  The instant she sank against him, the kiss turned hot and demanding, Ryan lifting her so that their heads were nearly level.

  She hadn’t been kissed in a long while, and never like this. She opened her mouth for his seeking tongue and lost herself in his taste, his smell…his arousal.

  The instant she noticed, her feet were on the ground again and Ryan was backing away.

  “Don’t know why I did that,” he said around a ragged breath. “I apologize.”

  Dazed, nerves taut and humming, Tina wasn’t sorry. Not by a long shot. She was confused, though. Hadn’t Ryan just explained in no uncertain terms that Maggie was the only female in his life, period? That he didn’t date?

  Unless Tina was mistaken, those kisses said otherwise. “I don’t understand,” she said.

  “Like I told you, with everything that’s happened to Maggie I can’t afford to get involved.”

  Apparently, she was mistaken. “Don’t worry about me. With a career to worry about I’m way too busy for that, too.” Her fingers trembled as she fluffed her hair. “It was only a few kisses.”

  A doozy of a few kisses. She touched her lips, which felt slightly swollen.

  Ryan’s eyes followed the movement, darkening with heat. “Glad you feel the same way.”

  She didn’t, though, not at all. His kisses had jolted her awake, as if she’d been asleep since her breakup. Her body was hungry, and her heart. But she wouldn’t let herself think about her deep longing for a man’s love.

  “You probably should go home now.” Before she made a fool of herself by falling all over him.

  She opened the door to the dining room. And heard Maggie, still reading to G. G.

  Thank heavens.

  “I appreciate the advice about Maggie,” Ryan said as they neared the living room. “If you need any help with G. G….”

  What she needed were things Ryan didn’t want to give and she couldn’t afford to want. “I don’t, thank you.”

  As they entered the living room, the older woman shot them a sly look. Did she somehow know what had happened?

  “The dishes are done and the kitchen is clean,” Tina said, smoothing down her pullover. She turned her attention to Maggie. “You’re a good reader, Maggie, but it’s getting late and G. G. needs her rest.”

  G. G. didn’t argue. She looked exhausted and alarmingly pale. Tina tried to hide her concern. She wanted Ryan gone.

  Once he and Maggie were out the door she’d deal with G. G., including taking her temperature. If it was normal, she’d put her to bed. If not…

  Tina didn’t want to think about that. She hoped and prayed that after a good night’s rest, G. G. would feel better, and that she would, too.

  RAIN PUMMELED the roof, the rhythmic noise filling Ryan’s bedroom. If he’d been asleep, the sound would’ve awakened him. But he wasn’t. How could he be, after he’d made the worst mistake possible tonight—he’d kissed Tina.

  Lucky for him, she’d accepted his apology.

  Trouble was, he’d lied. He wasn’t sorry at all. She tasted better than he’d ever imagined. She’d kissed him back, too, with plenty of enthusiasm, her soft curves pressing against him. It had been sweet torture, and not nearly enough.

  Now he wanted more, a whole lot more. And he figured she did, too.

  Muttering, he flipped onto his side. Then onto his back. He couldn’t get comfortable—he was too damn mad at himself. What had he been thinking?

  He imagined Tina in his bed right now, her thighs gripping his waist and her head thrashing on his pillow. Driving him higher and higher with her frantic need.

  A certain part of him throbbed and stood at attention. Ryan groaned. He couldn’t go there, not with Tina. Work was the most important thing in her life, and God knew, he’d had more than his fill of career-oriented women. They never stuck around.

  Getting tangled up with her would be bad news, with his daughter getting the short end of the deal. Maggie needed stability, and Ryan intended to give her that.

  In other words, Tina was out of the picture.

  What a relief she was leaving after Thanksgiving. Between now and then, he’d steer clear of her. Except that she was coming over Monday night to meet Maggie’s hamster. Ryan swore. After that, then.

  And he’d make sure Maggie understood that Tina only visited the island a few times a year.

  Maggie. How in hell was he supposed to convince her that his happiness was his problem, and not hers?

  Clueless and feeling all mixed up, he gave up on sleep. At the moment he was anything but happy. He needed sex. The next best thing was exercise, followed by a long, cold shower.

  A midnight run in the rain ought to do the trick. But with Maggie asleep, leaving the house was out. He’d lift the weights he kept in a corner of the basement.

  He threw on a T-shirt and gym shorts, laced up his sneakers and headed downstairs.

  Chapter Five

  Sunday night after G. G. was asleep, Tina sat at the kitchen table with her laptop, sketch pad and pencils spread out around her.

  Except for the steady tick, tick of the wall clock in the living room and the hum of the refrigerator, the house was quiet. Perfect for catching up on all the work she’d neglected over the past few days. And there were piles of it. She’d been out of the office since Wednesday, and already she was woefully behind. Forget catching the interest of Peter Woods, the CEO of the Captain’s Catch restaurant chain. She could barely stay on top of her regular responsibilities.

  She was barely averaging six hours’ sleep, but she was used to that. Besides, it was better to work late than toss and turn in bed, feeling sorry for herself. G. G. had raised her to focus on the
positive, and Tina preferred not to think about loneliness or the fact that her life was sorely lacking in joy.

  She prided herself on keeping her negative feelings well hidden. Yet somehow last night, Ryan had seen beneath the surface.

  “You’re not happy, either,” he’d said.

  The man was too darned astute. Tina fervently hoped that G. G. and the rest of the neighbors never realized how she felt. They wanted her to be successful, and her aim was to please them. That was what mattered.

  Nothing to do but put on a convincing upbeat face and have a spring in her step every time she saw Ryan. Starting tomorrow night, when she stopped over to meet Maggie’s hamster. Fooling him wouldn’t be so difficult, as long as she focused on Maggie and her pet. And didn’t think about wanting to kiss her daddy again.

  Last night’s kisses were still with her. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel Ryan’s lips moving restlessly over hers, hinting at untold pleasures and making her want much more. She thought about him lifting her and holding her tight against the hard planes of his body…

  Her nerves began to thrum and sing. Ryan was so big and solid. Not much extra fat on his frame, as far as she could tell. She wouldn’t mind finding out for sure, though.

  Ryan without a shirt. At the very thought, her breath caught. Of course she would never see his bare chest, or even kiss him a second time. According to Ryan, it had all been a mistake.

  No other man had ever apologized for a kiss. The laugh that broke from Tina’s chest felt more like a cry. “I have sunk to new depths of humiliation,” she murmured to herself.

  She wished she hadn’t agreed to come over tomorrow night. But she had, and Maggie expected her. To avoid being rude, she’d stay fifteen minutes, meet the hamster and then leave, wearing a huge smile on her face the entire time.

  That settled, she focused on work. She was deep into an ad campaign for a microbrewery when her cell phone rang. The LED read, Kate and Jack Burrows. As busy as she and Kate both were, they still tried to talk every day.